17 August 2009
Posted in
Dating 101
Image courtesy of soartsyithurts
This post aims to answer does she like me with the help of 13 of the most common female courtship gestures. These gestures are presented through body language which can determine whether or not a woman is interested in you.
If you are scouring the Internet looking for material to answer your question of does she like me then you’ve found the right post. Here’s I’ve assembled the 13 most common female gestures that demonstrate female attraction.
Does she like me?
Women become more sexually active in the middle of their menstrual cycle, when they are most likely to conceive. It's during this time that they are more likely to wear shorter dresses and higher heels, to walk, talk, dance and act more provocatively and use the body gestures we are about to discuss.
What follows is a list of the 13 most common courtship gestures and signals used by women everywhere to show a man that she is available. This is a great list if you want to get into the dating world and answer “Does she like me?” questions.
This is one of the most commonly used female gestures out there, so next time you see it - you'll know what it means. If you’ve asked yourself “Does she like me?” and you see this, I think you know the answer from now on.
2. Wet Lips and Pouting
At puberty, a boy's facial bone structure alters dramatically as testosterone gives him a stronger, protruding jaw-line, larger nose and more pronounced forehead - all the essentials for protection to the face during encounters with animals or enemies. Girls bone structure remains largely unchanged and child-like with more subcutaneous fat, which makes the female adolescent face appear thicker and fuller, particularly the lips.
With this information you can get a small taste as to why this is one of the most powerful female body language techniques. The larger, thicker lips are a signal of femaleness due to their contrast in size to male lips.
Some women have collagen injected into their lips to overstate this sexual difference and thereby make themselves more appealing to men. Pouting simply increases the lip display.
A woman's outer genital lips are proportionately the same thickness to her facial lips. Desmond Morris describes this as 'self-mimicry', as it is intended to symbolise the female genital region. The lips can be made to appear wet either by the use of saliva or cosmetics, giving a woman the appearance of sexual invitation. When a woman becomes sexually aroused her lips, breasts and genitals become larger and redder as they fill with blood.
Female Body Language Tips
The use of lipstick is an Egyptian invention that is four thousand years old and is intended to mimic facially the reddened genitals of the sexually aroused female. This explains why; in experiments using photos of women wearing various lipstick colours, men consistently find the bright reds the most attractive and sensual. Therefore, lipstick is a one of the best female body language techniques.
Women have dramatically more nerve sensors for experiencing touch than men, making them more sensitive to touch sensations.
When a woman slowly and sensually strokes her thigh, neck or throat it infers that, if a man plays his cards right, he may be able to touch her in these same ways. At the same time, her self-touch lets her imagine what it might feel like if the man was initiating the touch.
This is one of the most powerful female body language techniques to allure men in, and I bet you want to be allured in when you see it. “Does she like me?” Yes or she’s teasing you. Look out for more of the female body language techniques that you'll discover in this post to be sure.
Walking or sitting while holding a limp wrist is a submission signal used exclusively by women and gay men.
In a similar way, a bird feigns a damaged wing to distract prey away from its nest. In other words, it's a great attention getter. It's very attractive to men because it makes them feel as if they can dominate. In business situations, however, a limp wrist seriously detracts from a woman's credibility and others will fail to take her seriously, although some men will probably ask her for a date.
This isn't an exclusive female body language gesture so don’t be too surprised if you see men doing it, it doesn’t typically mean he likes you. Unless of course... never mind.
Fondling cigarettes, a finger, the stem of a wine glass, a dangling earring or any phallic-shaped object is an unconscious indication of what may be in the mind.
Taking a ring off and on the finger can also be a mental representation of having sex. When a woman does these things, a man is likely to symbolically try to possess her by fondling her cigarette lighter, car keys or any personal item she has nearby.
If you're familiar with this gesture and you've seen the girl you desire use it towards you, then you find yourself in a situation where you can quite clearly say that she desires something from you. This allows you to drop all your "Does she like me?" questions.
An interested woman will gradually expose the smooth, soft underside skin of her wrists to the potential male partner and will increase the rate she flashes her wrists as her interest grows.
The wrist area has long been considered one of the highly erotic areas of the female body because it is one of the more delicate skin areas; it's uncertain whether this is a learned behaviour or is innate but it certainly operates on an unconscious level. The palms are also usually made visible to the man while she's speaking. This is a very useful female body language technique to watch out for. It may not be as obvious as you expect.
Female Body Language Tips
Women who smoke cigarettes find this wrist/palm exposure simple to do while smoking by holding the palm up beside the shoulder.
Women put perfume on the underside of the wrist believing it has something to do with the wrist pulse distributing the perfume. But its real purpose is to thrust the wrist forward towards a potential partner. The perfume simply draws attention to the woman and lets the man see her under wrists.
The exposed wrist and head toss gestures are often mimicked by homosexual males who want to take on a feminine appearance. Unless you want to become part of an uneasy situation I’d suggest you don’t stare too much to validate this point.
The Raised Shoulder is self-mimicry of the rounded female breasts. With partially drooped eyelids, the woman holds the man's gaze just long enough for him to notice, and then she quickly looks away. This action produces the feeling of peeping in the woman who does it and being ‘peeped’ at by the man who receives it.
I really like this female body language technique, and, even though it may look rather weird I find it very alluring.
For childbearing reasons, women have wider hips than men and have a wider crotch gap between the legs. This means that when a woman walks she has an accentuated roll which highlights her pelvic region. Men can't walk like this, so it becomes a powerful sex difference signal. It also explains why few women are good runners because their wider hips make their legs splay out to the side when they run.
Rolling of the hips is one of the subtle female courtship gestures that have been used for centuries in advertising to sell goods and services. Women who see these advertisements have the desire to be like the model depicted, which results in an increased awareness of the product being promoted.
You may be able to tell that the picture I used is of Shakira. I feel her hips are perfect to highlight one the best female body language techniques.
Medical evidence shows that a woman in excellent health and most capable of successfully bearing children has a waist-to-hips ratio of 70% or 1.7, that is, her waist is 70% the size of her hips. This gives her what's known as an hourglass figure. Throughout recorded history this is the body ratio that has proved the most dramatic male attention-grabber.
Men begin to lose interest when the ratio exceeds 80% and, for most men, the greater or lesser the ratio the less attentive he will be. He completely loses interest when her ratio reaches 100% but still maintains a level of interest even when it drops below 70%, but 70% still remains the perfect ratio for reproductive success. "Does she like me?" Yes.
Female Body Language Tips
Professor Devendra Singh, an evolutionary Psychologist at the University of Texas, studied the physical attractiveness of Miss America beauty contestants and Playboy centrefolds over a period of 50 years and found that the hips-to-waist ratio that holds the greatest appeal for men is between 67% and 80%.
Professor Singh conducted a test using images of women who were underweight, overweight and of average weight and showed them to groups of men who were asked to rate them in terms of their attractiveness. Women of average weight with a hips-to-waist ratio of around 70% were found to be the most alluring. In the overweight and underweight groups, the women with the narrowest waist got the vote. The experiment's remarkable finding was that men gave the 70% hips-to-waist ratio the highest rating even when the woman's weight was quite heavy.
This means a woman can be physically larger but will still turn male heads if she has this ratio which makes this female body language technique one of the best courtship gestures around.
Most men have never seen the contents of a woman's handbag and studies show that most men are afraid even to touch her handbag, let alone open it.
A woman's handbag is a personal item that's treated by her almost as if it's an extension of her body and so it becomes a strong signal of intimacy when she puts it close to a man. If she finds him particularly attractive, she may slowly fondle and caress her handbag. She can ask him to pass the handbag or to even retrieve something from it. Placing the handbag near him so he can see it or touch it is a strong signal she's interested; keeping it away from him indicates emotional distance.
If she trusts you with her handbag it’s a good sign that you’ve answered your question of “Does she like me?”
One leg is tucked under the other and points to the person she finds the most interesting. This is a relaxed position, which also takes the formality out of a conversation and gives the opportunity for a fleeting exposure of the thighs.
12. The Shoe Fondle
Dangling the shoe on the end of the foot also indicates a relaxed attitude and has the phallic effect of thrusting the foot in and out of the shoe. This action unsettles many men without them knowing what is happening. Watch out for this female body language technique.
Most men agree that the leg twine is the most appealing sitting position a woman can take. It's a gesture that women consciously use to draw attention to their legs.
Albert Scheflen states that one leg is pressed firmly against the other to give the appearance of high muscle tone which is a condition that the body takes when a person is ready for sexual performance. Other leg signals used by women include crossing and uncrossing the legs slowly in front of the man and gently stroking the thighs with her hand, indicating a desire to be touched.
That concludes the most common female gestures. I'm sure I've answered you're question of "Does she like me?" if not, leave a comment or read your guide to understanding women next.
Craig is a 22-year-old student studying psychology at Bournemouth Uni. He runs a dating blog aimed at helping every man get the perfect relationship through the psychology of dating.
If you enjoyed this post, get free updates via RSS or E-mail.
So, don't always trust the handbag.
Thanks for your comment! Yep sometimes that is the case and I agree there's more but I'd say these 13 are the most common.
@Meg
Thanks Meg! Nice point. That definitely can be the case sometimes, something that should be observed by the man.
@MikeEE
Case study indeed, thanks for the comment
@Anne
Thanks
@Jon
Thanks for commenting Jon but I'd point out that roughly 90% of communication is body language so I wouldn't disregard it as worthless. It's how we communicated pre-language, the level at which our brain is still hard-wired to operate.
*edit* - all comments moved here since 17/08/09.
Yep Jon, I agree some body language is faked but there's still the majority that is uncontrollable. Twitches etc are sub-conscious reactions expressed through body language which aren't easily controlled - micro-gestures they're commonly called.
@Penny
lol thanks Penny - maybe I'll try it out sometime
Thank you for your enlightening material (pun intended). I found your material very interesting and very readable. I've been looking at Deangelo's work (amongst others) as well and I've become very curious about sexuality, female psychology and social psychology recently.
Although I'm from Bournemouth (remarkably small world huh?), I live in Rome, Italy and I work as an English teacher. I'm considering studying psychology or sociology at uni here (I speak Italian).
I think my only comment would be, one must consider cultural differences. I'm not sure if you'd agree with me, but I feel that most of the material from the "seduction community" has a distinct US bias. Perhaps a UK female would prefer a slightly more modest disposition and approach (although no less confident of course) what do you think? Furthermore, Italian women are remarkably different from UK women.
In any event, I did a lesson for my higher level students on courtship gestures and body language a few weeks ago and I borrowed some of your work. I hope you don't mind. I provided the link to your site, naturally. :)
Anyway, I wish you good luck with your studies and I look forward to your response/ comment.
Cheers man
Awesome comment! Thanks a lot for your positive feedback.
Very small world! If you enjoy the psychology side of things I'd recommend you study psychology. Even though you'll find it's mainly theory driven with little 'usable' facts, you'll still be able to apply what you learn.
Definitely! Cultural differences will make a huge difference in some parts. I tend to write mainly UK based material which I've personally adopted and have experience with it's effects. The main area I focus on being the psychology of dating I believe applies anywhere though. I only focus on the deep, core desires and motivations that are present in any women, anywhere.
For example - A women in Ghana would have the same list of characteristics which makes a man desirable as a women from Australia. The only difference being the 'amount' if applicable.
I find Italian woman rather cute. Probably one of my favourite groups. :) You'll tend to find it'll be harder to detect attraction from an Italian woman since they tend to touch a lot to begin with. Therefore it's hard to separate the 'normal' touching from the attraction touching. Especially if you're UK born and bread where we hardly touch at all. :)
Nope I don't mind if you borrowed some work, nice to know it's being helpful. :)
Thanks again for the time you took to type the comment and give your opinion. Much appreciated!
thank you for your very informative response :)
I actually have a question and wanted your opinion on something.... i have noticed some of the above on a certain female, and although I'm fully aware that much body language is not necessarily courtship gesturing as such, I've noticed one girl fodnling her lip (the lower lip)... is that a courtship gesture, or is she just concentrating/thinking or something?
thanks again
D
Sorry for the late reply again! I've been busy working on another project but from today onwards I'm focused on Psyduction again. :)
With your question - it depends on the situation. If she's in a situation where thinking is normal (like in work) then maybe she's simply thinking yea but if it's you two alone - then you could probably take it as a type of courtship gesture. :)
like when a girl breaks eye contact and looks down...then regains eye contact?
rather than 'slowly and sensually stroking her thigh' which i think many people would agree is a bit strong, most people get the message before a women would resort to that! lol