07 July 2009
Posted in Dating 101

Image courtesy of Corie Howell

Now, onto the second part where we delve into the juice of female psychology and discuss social intuition, sense of humour and the super trait of status and how they mould together to form an understand of women.

This is a part 2 which carries on from part 1.

Social Intuition

The ability to thrive in groups is important for animals that live in packs or groups, such as us.

This trait goes back to the evolutionary aspects I was talking about in part one. If a man is liked and respected in his tribe he’d have more access to food, shelter and protection for other men. Therefore the ability to get on with people (social intuition) is a highly desirable characteristic in a man.

Understanding of this characteristic

• Social intuition comes from experience, mainly practise and observation. To improve this trait you need to place yourself in more social situations regularly and make a conscious effort to interact with people. Doing this will allow your skills to soar.
• TV and films are not real life. This may sound obvious, but people actually do learn their patterns from TV or films via observation. You need to make a conscious effort not to do this, or better yet spend more time with real people and less time with the tele.

Extra tips

• Select an appropriate job or push yourself a little harder. I mean, waiters interact with people every day, computer programmers generally do not. If your job is rather unsocial then you’d need to push yourself in to more social situations in your spare time to make up for the loss in experience your job provides.
• Finally, you need to practise your social skills. A good way is to observe others who have social intuition. If you go to a bar, you’ll see a guy straight way that has social intuition. Watch him for a little while (in a non-stalker like fashion), see how he interacts and use what you observe to enhance your social patterns.

Sense of Humour

You’re probably surprised that humour has turned up in this list of evolutionary foundations. Most likely because you think humour is based on language. However, evidence shows humour is universal and doesn’t depend on language one single bit.

In fact, humour predates language and exists in every culture on Earth as well as some animals such as monkeys, dogs and rats.

Having a sense of humour means you can spread the humour and make other people laugh, this may seem pointless, but it is very important. It’s important because most laughter is not about humour; it’s about the connection between people.

Chimps laugh when they play-fight to communication they’re not attacking and it has evolved in humans in a very similar way to create a bond between people. This shows that laughter is a great communication tool.

When people laugh together it creates a very powerful emotional bond which allows people to feel closer with a sense of security. Laughter also triggers certain positive chemicals in the brain that start the ball moving on those happy emotions we all feel when in laughter.

Those positive chemicals are very addictive and it’s easy to see why we all love laughing so much. We love it so much that we’ve developed a predisposition to ‘funny’ people or people who can make us laugh. This is twice as true for women since they long for security which can be obtained from a man with a sense of humour.

I suppose you can argue that humour is in fact social intuition. I’d agree, but I gave it its own section since I feel it’s important to cover it separately.

Understanding this characteristic

• Firstly, make a point of observing people who have a good sense of humour. Don’t just look at what someone says; focus on the body language, tonality of the whole thing. Go watch professionals at comedy clubs if you would like extra help in this area, you’ll learn fast.
• Don’t become a clown! Anyone can get cheap laughs by doing weird or inappropriate things don’t let it be you.
• Don’t take yourself too seriously. A self-deprecating wit, used in moderation can actually display high status and value. If someone makes a friendly joke at your expense that other laugh at, laugh with them.
• Finally remember that laughter is contagious. Even if you are not producing all the humour, being able to find and laugh at other funny things encourage others to laugh as well. All laughter gives good emotions and social bonding, so get in there and laugh.

Extra tips

• There are many types of humour - slapstick, sarcastic, satirical etc. Make sure your sense of humour is wide ranging in as many different humours as possible. The same type of humour over and over can be a boring and predictable thing.

This brings us to the end of the foundations of female psychology. We’ve covered health, social intuition and humour. If you have all 3 of these you will have –

• Greater chances of survival
• More likely to produce health children
• Find it easier to participate and thrive in social groups
• Find it easier to make her feel good (sense of humour)

Unfortunately, the foundations alone are not enough to captivate a desirable woman. But having them certainly increases your chances. Next we’ll move on to the attributes and discuss status and wealth.

Here’s the full list again for a quick lookie before I start the next section -

Foundations –

• · Health
• · Social Intuition
• · Humour

Attributes –

• Status
• Wealth

Congruence –

• Pre-selected
• Challenging
• Confident

Attributes

I like to think of it this way, the foundations give you the ticket to enter the game and the attributes give you the ticket to win the game. You need both to win. The main point of the attributes is that they are external things. They aren’t internal like health, or a sense of humour. This means the attributes are a representation of what you have, rather than who you are.

From an evolution point of view, everything you can have externally that attracts women falls into either status or wealth. This doesn’t make women ‘gold-diggers’ but it does explain why gold-digger’s exist. Women have a very good reason to want these attributes and I’m going to cover them both in great detail.

Status

Status, quite simply is associated with power and the power you have. The more power you have in a situation, the more status you will be given by everyone around you. Status is desirable because it means you have power. Power is important because it gives you extra rights to do certain things, like the ability to sit around and do nothing, or the ability to change other people’s lives.

Thousands of years ago, those extra abilities you gain from power were only associated with the major players such as the chiefs of the tribe. Every woman will want to have multiple babies with the chief for the simple reasons of increased survival and reproduction. Therefore a man with status and power are highly desirable in the eyes of women everywhere.

These days status may not be as powerful as it was in the tribe but it still plays a big part. A woman who is with a man who has high status will enjoy a much better life in terms of interest and excitement compared to what she’d have with a low status man.

Status is relative

It may not be obvious but status does fluctuate dramatically in certain situations. For example, a professor will have a high status to his students, but if he was at a fashion show, he would have much lower status.

This tends to be the reason why women sleep with their boss a lot. Even if the boss was just a manager of a McDonald’s he’d have a lump of status and power. It may only be present when he’s inside the job, but it’s still there. The same girl who slept with him while he was her boss may not even consider him in a social scene such as a club. Aim of high status in one area and you’ll have the same success as any boss.

Understanding this Characteristic

• Relative status is far easier to obtain that complete status. If you go to a certain club often then get to know all the staff and bouncers. Even if no-one knows you outside the club, inside you will be a celebrity.
• Status is often demonstrated relative to other men. Seek opportunities to display status in a non-confrontational way over other men, such as teaching them something or expressing dominant body language.

Extra tip

• Act how high status men act. High status men do not tend to be envious, they do not lower the success of other men, they do not tend to be needy, they do not need to convince other people of their status and they do not worry what others think of them. Take those frames of mind under your wing and you’ll feel a greater sense of personal power growing inside you.

I’ll leave it there for now, check the concluding part of the attributes where I’ll be discussing wealth and my personal opinion of how ‘gold diggers’ where invented. If you've got any opinions of extra tips you'd love to share, post them in the comments - your opinions are valued here.

Craig is a 22-year-old student studying psychology at Bournemouth Uni. He runs a dating blog aimed at helping every man get the perfect relationship through the psychology of dating.

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Sexy Comments (3)

written by NDru, August 05, 2009

Nice post~

Keep up the good work Craig~ I've recently RSSed to your updated and it's a pleasure reading your posts~

written by Craig - Admin, August 05, 2009

@Diggy

Exactly! You've got it spot on.

I'll be covering wealth in a little more detail this evening in the third and final part of my series

@NDru

Thanks a lot!

Hope you enjoy reading the final part tonight and the rest of my updates.

written by goodfella, July 08, 2010

i agree with a lot of the things you say.
i have one thing to say about the reason humour is attractive,it is a deeper reason than the fact that it lubricates social interaction:one of the main ways humans generate humour is to see things in a totally different and unexpected way (the SEINFELD show type of humour is a perfect example).humourous people are very good at seeing things from a new perspective,and fast.that means that what us humans call 'humorous people' are actually animals that,when confronted with a new,dangerous situation,are very good at finding a solution=they're better at surviving.