20 January 2010
Posted in
Meeting Women
Image courtesy of Merlijn Hoek
The club. To some men, its a dark, scary and formidable environment where women run wild in nothing more than beachwear. To others, its the perfect mating ground full of enticing rewards fit only for the bravest.
1. Acting weird
My definition of weird would be the inability to flow with whoever you are interacting with. Whether it be a simple case of self-confidence or lack of things to say - if the flow stops - weirdness shows it's awkward head.
To combat: Be cool. When a woman looks at you, especially in a club full of potential she decides whether or not she'd introduce you to her friends, or for that matter, her parents. Let the inner man roam free inside you and act as you want, say what you want and generally you'll come off as confident. Read 16 laws that'll get you that girl to do it perfectly.
2. Wearing weird
Funnily enough, women value fashion with great pride and although we men who don't understanding the meaning of most brands, we're hooked onto the fashion wagon. That means we have to actually think and consider what we wear for other reasons besides comfort and pocket space.
To combat: Stay up-to-date with fashion trends. Don't wear the latest or the oldest but something in between. That way you're keeping up with fashion and looking exceptionally cool without sacrificing your manliness to pink tie-dyes.
3. Weird eye contact
Eye contact is a strong candidate for more research but here's what we know so far:
- If your across the room and staring, is weird
- Eyeing anything but her eyes, is weird
- Making eye contact and immediately looking up, down, left or right is... weird
- Never breaking eye contact, is psychotic.
Well I suppose doing anything but strong, comfortable and relaxed eye contact is, well, weird?
To combat: If you're talking to a woman, keep eye contact when you talk and when she talks - you can look away in between breaks but regain if either of you begin talking. If you're not sure, practice in the mirror. That way you avoid the trap of weird eye contact.
4. Being weird... with a group
With a group, I mean a group of women - which are by far your most dangerous adversary in the club. There's often no middle group, it either goes extremely well or extremely painful. That's why it's important not to be weird, in a group.
To combat: Be friends with them all. You may only like Sally in the middle but don't fool yourself into a false sense of security - the others won't wonder away and leave you two alone. But they will pick, dig and test you until you fall or shine through which makes befriending all them important. Talk to every member as much as Sally - that way you avoid triggering defensive mode and angering that one on your left who literally scares you.
5. Moaning weirdly
Moaning in the man-book is a big no no. It's like inviting the devil to your tea party. It's only going to end in spilt tea. For instance I'm a tight git. I moan about the price of everything and believe me it isn't seen nicely. These days I've found a way to convert my tightness into humour while actually covering the fact I'm moaning. That way I can moan about prices all day long and get away with it!
To combat: If you can, avoid talking about things you're insecure about or can't stand. That way you should be able to avoid the moan-reflex and keep it cool.
Anyway enough with all this! Would you even want to meet a woman in a club?
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I'm going to go on record as saying I half agree and half disagree with all of you.
On one hand, as "Daf" correctly pointed out, a woman is a woman, irrespective of whether you meet her in a club, a strip club, or a church. The only thing that is likely to differ is her state of mind. I think very often you'll find that women in clubs, are in a different frame of mind than when in a supermarket or at work, for example. One could argue that they know a lot of men are there, but they are programmed to exploit their signs of fertility (by dressing provocatively and sexily) and attend public gatherings, but in many cases, they also have a guard/ shield up. If you approached a girl in a club, she could either be in a "party" frame of mind (for any number of reasons, see "fools mate" in the mystery method for more on that) and willingly fool around/sleep with a guy that takes her fancy. She may also be exceptionally rude and impolite (you might call this "stuck up"). Again, there could be any number of resons for this, perhaps the most common being that she's already been approached by a dozen guys! (there's a good post on this site about approaching girls in clubs, I suggest you check it out) If you approached either of these girls in a different environment, she might actually be quite receptive, classy, sweet and frankly, your ideal woman. But in a different social setting, she's likely to be in a completely different frame of mind. I don't agree, that you can judge a woman by how she reacts to your attempts to f**k her in one social setting.
However, as mentioned she's a still a woman programmed by evolution (nature) to select a mate and eventually have children. What could certainly differ however, is the social/ cultural programming (nurture). Before I continue, I would like to clarify that I have no problem with religion and I know some very cool chicks who have a belief in a God of some description, even if they are not practising a religion as such. However, in some cultures and social/ religious groups, some women (and men) are programmed to believe that any instinct to enjoy sex or even in some cases social interaction with the opposite sex, is "morally" wrong and inappropriate. With today's technology and knowledge of human biology, evolution, pyschology and sociology, we now know that a lot of things we didn't know when many of the religious scriptures first emerged. We now know that it is human nature to desire an attractive member of the opposite sex, and it is an instinct not to be ignored. We also know that going against what we are naturally programmed to do can actually be harmful psychologically speaking (do you think it's a co-incidence that so many celibate Catholic Priests are convicted of paedophilia? or that so many men in US federal prisons turn to homosexuality as they have not been exposed to any females for several years?) Homosexuality is not a social handicap in today's social context, but for a previously heterosexual man it is obviously out of character.
I hope this is of interest to all,
Dan
Very nice comment.
You're spot on, she's a woman programmed by biological evolution and therefore certain actions can be perceived.
Nice to know you've got your mind in the 'game', you know your stuff. Looking forward to some more of your comments. :)
