13 August 2009
Posted in Relationships
Image courtesy of ab photo
If you’re in a relationship you know how important it is to extend the sexual encounter into a long, enthralling atmosphere of anticipated lust. This post will give you a few extra tips to encourage the atmosphere a little further with foreplay tips.
This post goes into more detail where a previous post titled ‘Sex Secrets Women Love’ by delving deeper in to what makes foreplay an irresistible part of the full sexual experience.
I see foreplay being basically avoiding the bulls-eye for as long as possible while creating as much anticipation as possible of an eventual bulls-eye related event. That in turn will enable other energies to engage such as emotional and imaginative rather than just sexual.
Anticipation is one of the best emotions a woman can feel. Telling her things such as "I have a surprise for you..." will tingle her silly as she anticipates the ‘surprise'. If you enjoy non-missionary sex once in a while maybe you should partake in a little ‘different' situation and use a blindfold.
Using a blindfold will block out her sense of sight while increasing her other senses allowing her to experience every single stroke of her body that you provide. If you know your girlfriend or wife won't enjoy this straight up, you could try easing it into a conversation and gauging her reaction. You never know, maybe it's one of her top fantasies that she has been waiting to act out.
You could also try stopping once you find something she really enjoys. When you find something that turns her on the act of stopping with create unspeakable amounts of anticipation as she waits for you to do it again.
In the previous post on sex secrets women love I brought up this list –
5 steps to fantastic foreplay
- Touch her very, very gently. You could do this by using the tips of your fingers. Run them over her arms, neck, shoulders, lips, hands, legs and feet. Anywhere really, except her sexual areas. By missing out the areas she ‘wants' you to touch, you create anticipation.
- Kiss her slowly and gently. Kiss lightly for sensuality and kiss her 100's of times like you're eating ice cream. Kissing her this way will increase the heat.
- You could try feeding her things that are sexy. Wine, strawberries or something like chocolate. Whatever you both enjoy and would find sexual would work.
- Invoke her sense of hearing by talking to her. Tell her what you like, "I love the way your lips feel as I kiss you... I could kiss you for hours".
- Lastly, tell her stories. Describe exactly what she feels like as you touch her. Describe what you're going to do to her by whispering in her ear how you're going to make her feel as you touch her body.
I think this list is a great basic outline of the entire stage performance that is foreplay, yet I feel there are certain tips and treats that were left out which I’d like to cover in this post.
Where on her body
As you probably know, a woman’s neck and ear lobes are very sensitive and therefore create a great tingling and sexual feeling once caressed with a kiss or two. I’d say that is also true with the most part of her body excluding the R rated zones (we want to leave them alone during foreplay!).
I’ve always found it pleasurable to kiss or touch close to her sensitive zones, such as her inner thigh. Doing so dramatically multiplies her sexual tension and her urge to pin you down and have her way.
You want to continue the foreplay for as long as possible, rejecting her thrusts and pulls and she eagerly wants to engage in sex. You’ll want to make sure she her excitement peaks before you dive in and disturb the neighbours.
4 Tips to spice up the foreplay
1. Public foreplay
When does your foreplay generally start? When you’re in the bedroom, or in the privacy of your own home? How about you spice it up and start it in public.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not encouraging indecent exposure (unless you find that alluring). I’m pointing mainly to light touching, public shows of affection and maybe a little sex simulation against a near wall. Whatever you’d like to try would work; do what you normally do privately –in a public setting. That way foreplay can stretch all day until you finally get home and mess up the bed.
Do you know what your partner’s top sexual fantasies are? If not, why not ask her? If you’re a relaxed couple I’m sure she’d be glad to tell you. Once you know you can pop to your local fancy dress and return to ravish her in your rented Action Man™ costume or whatever other fantasy she may have come up with.
For an extended read check out top 10 fantasies of men and women for some ideas of where to try next. Hell, have your partner read it with you and tell you which fantasies she feels would be enjoyable to try out.
3. Shower for two
If you’ve been teasing her anticipation most of the day with your public affection and slight groping, why not jump in the shower together when you both get home to extend the foreplay a little further. Grab a nice scented lotion and begin playing with your partner in the shower (still managing to avoid those you know here areas) to boost her urges and sexual tension.
Finally, after your public repertoire of out of sight mingling and your lovingly dirty shower, how about treating her to relaxed and sensual massage to ease her up for what’s likely to be a heavy, sweating time to come.
I’ve written a related post on how to give a sensual massage which I feel compliments this tip lovely.
10 Foreplay Techniques from Amazing Sex for Dummies
Here’s a nice little bonus, if you’ve not picked up the tips you expected thus far, how about a little top 10 from the for dummies series. It’s all good.
- Call your lover during the day, and in a sexy voice say, “I have a surprise for you when you get home tonight.”
- In the morning, slip a love note into his or her lunch that reads something like, “I wish you could have me for lunch, but you know you'll have me tonight for dessert.”
- Send several romantic e-mail messages under a mysterious screen name from a “secret admirer.” Then, in the last message of the day, reveal that they were from you.
- Spray a little of your perfume or cologne on your lover's coat before he or she leaves the house in the morning, so your smell lingers all day.
- Take a sexy Polaroid picture of yourself and leave it where only your lover will find it during the day.
- When your lover is getting dressed in the morning, give him or her a gift of a new sexy pair of underwear to wear that day.
- Send flowers to your lover at work.
- Make an appointment to see your lover using a fake name. When his or her 3 o'clock appointment shows up, he or she will be surprised to find you instead of the fictitious “Mr. Smith.”
- During the day sneak into your lover's car and leave a sexy note on the steering wheel saying something like, “The sooner you get home, the faster you will feel my lips on you.”
- Instead of greeting him or her at the door after work, leave a trail of rose petals starting at the front door and leading to the bedroom where you are waiting.
There we go, at the end. If you feel inclined you can now go off and scare the cat by practising the tips with your partner. Otherwise, you could extend your knowledge further by reading the top sex secrets that women love or by posting your own tips and hints in the comments.
Craig is a 22-year-old student studying psychology at Bournemouth Uni. He runs a dating blog aimed at helping every man get the perfect relationship through the psychology of dating.