27 July 2009
Posted in Relationships
Image courtesy of Mario EA
The aim of this post is to show you ways to increase anticipation, how to stimulate her senses and quite bluntly, how to do it right. You'll also get a few steps for oral sex, foreplay and sex, making this post highly un-miss-able.
If you are familiar with sexual encounters you'd have realised that women are not really turned on much by sight. They tend to focus more on their other senses, like touch for example. Men are quite opposite; we can go from start to finish from sight alone. Women need that extra pillow of sensory excitement that I will provide... in text... today.
Anticipation is one of the best emotions a woman can feel. Telling her things such as "I have a surprise for you..." will tingle her silly as she anticipates the ‘surprise'. If you enjoy non-missionary sex once in a while maybe you should partake in a little ‘different' situation and use a blindfold.
Using a blindfold will block out her sense of sight while increasing her other senses allowing her to experience every single stroke of her body that you provide. If you know your girlfriend or wife won't enjoy this straight up, you could try easing it into a conversation and gauging her reaction. You never know, maybe it's one of her top fantasies that she has been waiting to act out.
You could also try stopping once you find something she really enjoys. When you find something that turns her on the act of stopping with create unspeakable amounts of anticipation as she waits for you to do it again.
Tease her and stimulate her senses
As we've covered, a woman senses much differently compared to a man during sex. The extra level of sensory excitement is required for her to remember the encounter. That means foreplay is important.
When you begin foreplay with a woman you need to be in the frame of mind of "I'm enjoying this, but I don't need it". This will allow you to slow down and not rush the experience. By being in that frame of mind you'll definitely see the difference it creates by noticing the level of fluid creation on the woman's part.
5 steps to fantastic foreplay
- Touch her very, very gently. You could do this by using the tips of your fingers. Run them over her arms, neck, shoulders, lips, hands, legs and feet. Anywhere really, except her sexual areas. By missing out the areas she ‘wants' you to touch, you create anticipation.
- Kiss her slowly and gently. Kiss lightly for sensuality and kiss her 100's of times like you're eating ice cream. Kissing her this way will increase the heat.
- You could try feeding her things that are sexy. Wine, strawberries or something like chocolate. Whatever you both enjoy and would find sexual would work.
- Invoke her sense of hearing by talking to her. Tell her what you like, "I love the way your lips feel as I kiss you... I could kiss you for hours".
- Lastly, tell her stories. Describe exactly what she feels like as you touch her. Describe what you're going to do to her by whispering in her ear how you're going to make her feel as you touch her body.
How to know when she wants sex
Generally when she's turned on enough to really enjoy sex after foreplay you'll notice she will begin grinding her hips against you while taking either her own or your clothes off and most likely chanting a rather alluring tune of "I'm so hot" or "I'm so turned on". Of course if she simply grasps your member, that's a clear sign for all-aboard to.
7 steps to orgasmic oral sex
At this stage we've passed the foreplay part of the mixture. At current we are beginning to start rowing the sex boat when the likely handsome face of oral sex pops into the picture. If you want to scare the cats next door then I recommend you follow these 7 steps for oral sex -
- Firstly you want to make a smooth transition from your previous foreplay. To do this you begin kissing your way down her stomach to her inner thighs and legs (may as well squeeze a little more anticipation in.)
- This may be the most important step if you've not had sex with the woman before. If she's a common sexual partner then you could probably skip this step. If not then you need to ask if she's comfortable. You need to make sure that she wants the experience you're about to provide her. If she doesn't, it's fine. Go back to the kissing and proceed another time.
- Generally you'd want to use a combination of your tongue and fingers. Using your tongue on her clitoris and your one finger inside is a highly acceptable way to increase her pleasure.
- Kiss around her vaginal area and if she's enjoying, insert another finger or 2, go slow at first.
- The recommended mouth options are generally licking up and down, side to side, in circles or maybe even a little sucking. You could cycle through them all and find out what she prefers from the amount of bedding she has clenched between her fingers.
- The recommended finger options are generally sliding in and out, staying still or rubbing a spot inside her vagina under her pubic bone, commonly called the G spot.
- Finally, find a combination that work and keep doing it at exactly the same speed and pressure until you reach her limit. Once there, enjoy the fireworks and move into a sex position.
8 steps to sensational sex
Alright, this is the final set of steps where I'll use highly unimaginative adjectives to promote paragraphs. This 10 step sequence is generally one of the best to follow until you learn enough information and feedback from your partner to customise your own sequence. 10 steps are -
- If she still has her clothes at least half on, you could proceed by running your hand over her breasts and bum through her clothes move on to
- Pulling up her top, just enough to expose her stomach so you can touch her around her hips and stomach in a gentle and slow manner. You could also touch the small of her back which is a highly erotic area if approached correctly, remember go slow and gentle at this part so you can move on to
- Stopping. That's right, stop. At this point you want to stop, look at her, smile and create anticipation. After you've stopped for a few seconds move on to
- Removing her top. Now control yourself from simply lashing out and gripping her breasts like a particularly hungry child trying to get beetroot out of a jar. Instead, touch everywhere that's exposed (assuming she's still wearing her bra). Kiss her shoulder, neck, back while gently touching and tasting.
- Next you can move on to her breasts. Again, slowly and gently kiss and touch her breasts through her bra. If she's enjoying, you can move on and take her bra off and continue with her exposed breasts.
- Next you come to her trousers. You may need to remove shoes and/or socks as well, so remain calm and proceed slowly. Once you've removed her trousers
- Keep kissing with gentle slow touching moving you're touching to around her underwear. Usually women enjoy being touched around the edging of their clothing, it creates anticipation.
- Finally you want to reach down and touch her gently between the legs. If she resists of feels uncomfortable for any reason then stop and go back to building anticipation. Normally she'll want to continue if you haven't rushed ahead.
Warning - If she says stop, you must stop. Don't think she's playing with you (unless you've agreed beforehand that stop is a yes word). Never force a woman to do anything she doesn't feel comfortable with.
6 Sex Tips
- Variations - First 9 shallow thrusts then 1 deep one
- Look into her eyes while having sex
- Caress her body and touch her, remember she does have the rest of her body available during sex
- Find combinations of things that she likes. She might like to be kissed at the same time or have her nipples pinched
- If you need to stop before you blow, it's ok to stop
- Another technique to stop premature ejaculation is to slow down and imagine you're swimming in the ocean. Hear the waves, feel the water on your body, taste the salt... ok maybe not the salt, but you get the picture.
If you've got some extra tips that I've missed or you'd like to edit a tip or two, post in the comments and I'll add them in if useful.
Hopefully you'll be trying out what you've just learned rather soon. If not why not check out your guide to understanding women and rectify that problem with some exceedingly pleasant information that'll help you get that girl.
Craig is a 22-year-old student studying psychology at Bournemouth Uni. He runs a dating blog aimed at helping every man get the perfect relationship through the psychology of dating.